Books
(Private Entry)
Original: German | Read in: German
See Info ▶
Review
While browsing the library, I came across a book that immediately caught my eye. I flipped through it briefly and found it really intriguing. Then I glanced at the title, which, admittedly, left a bad feeling in my gut. I brushed it off and told myself I’d find something similar that was more clearly meant for my target audience. After realising that none of the available books were really targeted at me, I put it back, disheartened. But the thought of it wouldn’t leave me alone. I kept thinking about it all week, almost obsessively, until I finally went back to the library and checked it out. And I found myself pleasantly surprised. It was far more insightful and empathetic than I had expected.
It may have been one of the easiest books I’ve ever read. I don’t often pick up non-fiction, but the narrator drew me in effortlessly. From the first to the last day I spent reading it, I would finish dozens, even over a hundred, pages in a single sitting, completely losing track of time. Especially in the beginning, I caught myself laughing or smirking every few pages at the sheer absurdity of certain passages, such as: "Go to the children's service at your church. Bring a hammer and nails with you. Then ask the kids who would like to play Jesus…" (p. 332).
By the end, I was left with a grin and a warm, steady feeling. I was grateful not to have judged it, as the age-old saying goes, by the cover alone. While it could have gone deeper into certain topics, the overall approach felt fitting for what the book set out to be.
Despite how enjoyable it was, I would consider it more of a one-time read. It isn’t a dense, heavily factual deep dive, but rather a reminder, a gentle pat on the back that says, "You’ve got this."
The reason I listed this book as a private entry is because, admittedly, it felt a little embarrassing to read. I couldn’t even bring myself to open it in the library while people were walking behind me. It wasn’t exactly explicit or scandalous, but it was the kind of book you’d rather laugh with in private than explain to a stranger glancing over your shoulder.
"Lick me. – I can't. Anatomically impossible. The other way around too. Unfortunately."
Der Prozess (1925) - Franz Kafka
Original: German | Read in: German
See Info ▶
Review
TBD
"TBD"
Les Mauvaises Notes (1997) - Claire Julliard
Original: French | Read in: French / German
See Info ▶
Review
My French teacher assigned us a book for a project and gave us a list of options. After reading the synopsis of Les Mauvaises Notes and noticing that no one else had chosen it, I decided to pick it. I first read the student version, which included German explanations of some grammar and vocabulary, and finished it in French. The book was impossible to find, so I had to buy it second-hand. I was so moved that I delayed my project just to read it again, this time in German. After the second reading, it felt as though my heart had been torn apart, beaten, stitched together, and laid to rest. I had low expectations at first, but from the very first page, I knew I was in for a rollercoaster.
The story is straightforward and the language clear, fitting the perspective of preteen main characters. I found it incredibly immersive. Frédéric’s internal monologue is powerful and remarkably realistic for his age. The characters are very well written; I could feel the humanity in each one, as though they could be people I know. Even those with minimal speaking time, like Ludovic, have distinct and strong personalities. The protagonist's sheer honesty with himself gave him a voice like no other: "I'm a fraud. Everyone here thinks I'm Robinson Crusoe, and I'm sick, I'm sick, I'm sick and tired of perpetuating this lie. [...] That's my problem. I'm surrounded by good people, while I'm a bad person. I'm a bad person because I hurt everyone. All this just to show off and make myself look interesting." (Frédéric Legendre, p. 107)
At around 160 pages, the book is short, yet it never feels rushed. I finished it within two days on both read-throughs, constantly finding excuses to continue. The story surprised me with its emotional intensity and unflinching depiction of difficult topics such as domestic abuse, drug abuse, and Frédéric’s complex trauma, especially in relation to his parents. The bittersweet ending left me with the same feeling as climbing into a warm bed with fresh sheets after a long shower. Pure relief and exhaustion, but deeply satisfying.
After finishing the book, I was inspired to both illustrate and write about it. I also later found out that the author was a psychology graduate and a teacher, which certainly explained the incredibly realistic portrayal of Frédéric’s internal world. I’ve read the book twice now and would absolutely read it again someday.
"Adults are always in a bad mood. Or sad. Or tired. They can't stand each other. They don't have any friends. They argue. Always about financial problems. And even when they have money, they're not happy. Besides, they have awful faces. I hate them. I'll never become like them. God, please don't let me become like them. [...] At the same time, I'm tired of being a kid. Everyone thinks they can do whatever they want with you. Especially since I'm nice. And I'm not a kid anymore. I'm twelve years old, after all."
Les Daltons (Vol. 1: 2017) | (Vol. 2: 2019) - Olivier Visonneau, Jesús Alonso
Original: French | Read in: German
See Info ▶
Review
I first came across the comic Les Daltons while browsing the comics section of my local library. It caught my eye immediately. Having never really read a Western comic before, I picked it up on a whim and didn’t expect much. But as I turned the pages, I was mesmerized by the artwork and found myself drawn into the story. By the end, I was literally on the edge of my seat, surprised at how invested I had become.
The story itself had a moderate level of complexity, though the frequent jumps between times and scenes took a moment to follow. I felt immersed at several points, especially during moments that really struck me. Some scenes were so absurd they made me burst out laughing, such as: "You can say that again, man! Just the right weather to warm yourself up between the fat thighs of a Mexican whore." (Grattan Dalton, vol. 1, p. 18). The characters were average overall, but not bad, and I found myself caring about their antics more than I expected. I took a short break after starting it, but I quickly devoured the rest of the first volume and then the second in one sitting. By the time I finished, I felt satisfied, like after enjoying a good, familiar homemade meal. A simple, light read that left a pleasant impression.
Later, I ended up buying the volumes myself. I spent time examining each page, appreciating the artistry and attention to detail. I had known the Daltons were a real gang, but only after finishing the comic did I learn it was an adaptation of their true stories. Reading up on them afterward, I was delighted to discover photographs taken after their capture, real images that the comic had directly referenced. Some of my favorite panels even inspired my own artwork, as I tried to imitate the style. I would absolutely revisit the book from time to time, especially to admire the artwork, though I probably wouldn’t read the story in full again.
"Leave my leg where it is, Doctor. I've already had enough taken from me."
ゴールデンカムイ | Golden Kamuy (2014) - 野田サトル | Satoru Noda
Original: Japanese | Read in: English
See Info ▶
Review
TBD
"TBD"
Blood Meridian (1985) - Cormac McCarthy
Original: English / Spanish | Read in: English / Spanish
See Info ▶
Review
Having already read several of McCarthy's novels and thoroughly enjoyed them, I was excited to start what many consider not only his magnum opus, but also one of the greatest works of American historical literature: Blood Meridian. After finally picking it up properly, I understood exactly what all the fuss was about. My expectations were high, and the book met them perfectly. Somewhat stupidly, I had discovered a five-hour video essay on the novel that I was desperate to watch but refused to touch until I had finished the book. As a result, it sat in my "watch later" playlist for over a year before I finally allowed myself to press play.
McCarthy's style is undeniably challenging, and there were moments where I found myself blanking entirely. This is not a book one can fully grasp on a first read. The sensory richness, however, was overwhelming. Certain scenes felt so vivid and oppressive that it was as if I wasn’t watching a movie unfold in my mind, but actually there, dehydrated, disoriented, my head spinning as though drunk. The members of the gang, as immoral and impossibly violent as they are, felt disturbingly human. Several moments caught me completely off guard, such as: "Glanton looked down toward the north. He looked down at the judge. You ain’t seen my dog, have ye? he said." (p. 168) and "Toadvine saw him with the child as he passed with his saddle but when he came back ten minutes later leading his horse the child was dead and the judge had scalped it. Toadvine put the muzzle of his pistol against the great dome of the judge's head. Goddamn you, Holden." (p. 173) Despite everything. Despite the sheer brutality and the gory violence that occurs only pages earlier, moments of sudden empathy emerge. The hypocrisy of it all made the characters feel strangely alive. The kid, the novel's protagonist, felt deeply present despite how little he speaks. And the judge… oh, the judge was something else entirely. I was horrified, to say the least. Calling him a villain feels like a genuine understatement. He felt less like a man and more like a demonic presence, something you stare at in absolute terror as you fall backward and slip out of consciousness.
I first began reading the novel over a year ago but stopped partway through. When I picked it up again later, the same thing happened. This was due to personal circumstances rather than any fault of the book itself. Once I finally committed to reading it properly, however, I made steady progress through the rest of the novel.
Surprisingly, I didn’t have much of a reaction to the ending. I felt numb. Confused yet deeply unsettled. Unsure of what to think, I closed the book and let out a long exhale. Blood Meridian is absolutely a novel I want to reread, only then do I believe I’ll truly begin to understand it.
"He never sleeps, the judge. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die."